Well, Hello Hello 2013!

Happy New Year 2013!
I hope that these first few days of the year have brought you all happiness and optimism that 2013 will be THE year. I know that is my outlook.
I ain't gonna lie, 2012 was rough. When jokes were made about the fiscal cliff, my response was, 'Makes no difference to me, we fell over the edge months ago.'
The benefit of falling over the edge is that gravity takes hold and you pummel to the bottom at breakneck speed. Because of this, I am confident that we have reached the bottom and the only direction that is left is up.
2013 will be the year of the climb.

With every new year comes a new round of resolutions I fail to keep. This year is no exception. I hesitate to call them resolutions this year. I am taking the 'Whatever happens, happens.' approach.

The list:
1. Drink more water.
2. Become financially organized.
3. De-clutter and purge the house of all unnecessary items.
4. Go to church.
5. Make healthier food choices.
6. Start writing. (the blog, the 3 book ideas I have in my head...)
7. Learn some French.
8. Learn to sew.
9. Be a better wife.
10. Be a better friend.

Giving Thanks: Day One and Two

'Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.'--1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Life has been busy for me. This has to be pretty obvious because I keep promising to update more often and then don't post for a month or two. Hoping to correct this, I am taking on the  '30 Days of Thanks' challenge. The month of November is the perfect time to take this task on so here goes days one and two: 


Day One: 
I am thankful to get a paycheck. 
I know that money isn't everything but in this day and age I feel extremely lucky to have a job to go to 5 days a week. I work hard and put in lots of hours after work but there are so many in this country and in my local community that struggle to get a job and have carried on that struggle for years. Which brings me to day two....


Day Two: 
I am thankful that the Mr. has a job. 
I haven't talked about it too much (if at all) in the blog but the past few years have definitely been both the sour and the sweet. My husband has always been a very hard worker and has always taken tremendous pride in the work that he did. He worked in construction, with the same company for 11 years. He was awarded 'Apprentice of the Year' right before we met. He worked his way from apprentice to General Foreman in no time at all and was responsible for huge projects. He worked for a company that built schools so when (around the time we were planning our wedding) we heard rumblings that construction was on a downward spiral in our community and that the housing market was imploding, we were worried but thought that we were safe. The Mr. built schools not houses or commercial buildings, schools. There was always going to be a need for schools...or so we thought. 
In a years time my husband would be out of a job. The last school that he worked so hard on, a state of the art brand new high school, didn't open on its scheduled date. The city couldn't afford to enroll students into the school so it sat dormant for almost 2 years. 
The next few years were a very trying time for us. The Mr. was used to succeeding in a career that he loved to do. That career was no longer an option for him. It came at a time when we were just starting a new chapter in our lives, we were newlyweds. 
When something like that happens it starts to feel like that movie 'Groundhog Day'. You wake up everyday without a sense of direction because you are still hesitant to start really planning your future. Everyday is the same and you think it will end soon but then weeks turn into months and months turn into years. It truly tests the bonds of marriage because both of you are struggling to be the people that you promised you would be to each other. 
When you get through all of this, and dust from the storm settles, you look over and the one standing next to you is the one that stood next to you on the most important day of your life...you feel absolutely empowered. 
The Mr. is working now and working hard. He has found a great job with a long standing company 10 minutes away from home. He is working 60 hours a week and never complains. We are finding our footing again and for that I am thankful. 

One Man Show

This week I look at things with a different set of eyes.
When I was a little girl my cousin had a friend that was our age. My aunt stayed home and would often watch my brother and I while my mom worked. She would sometimes watch my cousin's friend as well. As little girls we would color in coloring books with chipped crayons. The three of us coveted the Barbie coloring book. My cousin and I each had one. When one favorite page was colored, there was always the duplicate in the other book. Of course we played dolls, make-believe, on the swing set and dress up but it is that coloring book that I remember most.
One day at my cousin's, I remember a hushed conversation between the adults.
"I can't believe she's gone, and the kids too..."
I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't understand what death was. I didn't understand how a child could die.
A car accident.
My cousin and I were told that our playmate was gone, and she wasn't coming back. I couldn't understand because she was in my coloring book. The pinks, the greens. the lavender scribbles...all above where she scratched out her name with the apprehensive staccato of a schoolgirl.
Jessica.
Her name was still in my coloring book. I couldn't understand that she wasn't coming back. I kept that coloring book for years and would find it every once in a while as I was growing up. Sometimes I would forget why I still had it but after thumbing through it I would remember. I would feel the same confusion I had as a little girl. No matter how much I had aged, I still couldn't understand. Her name was still in my coloring book.
I feel that way again this week. This week a young mother, who I only casually know but is very close to a good friend of mine, was in a horrible car accident. She had her two year old and her four year old in the car with her. Her two year old, although badly hurt, will grow up in her mother's arms. Her four year now rests in the arms of God. She is in the hospital suffering from major physical injuries. Over time she will heal from these injuries but will be emotionally wrecked for life.
I don't understand it. I have seen people that I love leave this world too early and suddenly without warning. Although painful, over time I could at least try to rationalize it. I could try to understand. A child, I cannot. I can't even let myself try.
One thing I have learned this week, is that I am not a one man show. No one is. I cannot only rely on myself because the way I live my life affects others. There are people that care for me and love me. I care for an love  others. Sometimes I take that for granted. It is easy to let 'I love you' wander from the lips. Don't let it wander without direction. Don't say it without thought. Show it to those you love, show it every day. Accept it as well. One never knows what length of the thread of life has been spun for any soul. A person, no matter how much love is given or received, may be gone without warning. Everyday must be treated as a gift, lived to its fullest potential.

Sweet Temper Baking

(a cake fit for a princess)

I have a friend that, after much debate and personal soul searching, has decided to accept another position with another company that will give her more flexibility to spend time with her family. I am very much a firm believer that family and personal connections should come first and a career should come second. I have had money and have spent freely. I have made peanuts and have pinched pennies. When it comes down to it, you make do with what you have. When I think of my past, I remember the moments I shared with the people I loved. Not once does an eight hour shift pop into my head. I can't tell you how much money I have made and spent in my life.
I can't say that money doesn't matter at all, that would be silly for me to say. Without money The Mr. and I wouldn't have been able to spend a weekend celebrating our anniversary last year at the beach. Without money I wouldn't be able to buy my cake supplies to indulge in the hobby that I love. Which brings me back to my original story...
Today, when talking with my friend about the new adventure in front of her, we got into the discussion of where I see myself going, career wise. I told her that if given the opportunity I would go back to school, get my degree in business and open a bakery and cafe.
I have been trying to perfect sweet treats for about three years now. It all started when I took a beginning cake decorating course through the local community college and it took off from there. After spending a couple of years focused mostly on cupcakes, I have now turned my eye to tiered cakes, pies and cookies as well.
Lately it has started to take on a life all its own. I was compelled to take it to the next level.
Sweet Temper Baking was born.
Right now I am working on small batch, made to order desserts but my future goal is to turn it into more of a thriving business. I ultimately want to open a shop to include coffee service, a lunch menu AND a tea menu.
I am confident that one day soon I will pull it off and the line of making a living and doing what I love will be happily blurred.

Written by God's Fingers

"Every man's life is a fairy tale written by God's fingers"--Hans Christian Andersen

I have no idea how I am still awake, let alone able to form enough sentences to get a new post up. Then again, this being the very start of the post, I am being very optimistic that it will all make sense once I am finished and not end up looking like Charlie Sheen's 'winning' stand up act.

Let me just start by saying, leading up to the Royal Wedding I had no real intention of staying up all night to watch it. I hadn't given it too much thought in the days leading up to it. The day before something seemed to have clicked inside my head where suddenly I HAD to watch it. I can't really pin point what it was. I have a suspicious inclination that anytime there is a huge royal British event, every Brit is programmed to submit to the excitement and pageantry of said event. The more removed one is from England, the less the signal. I am only one generation removed so I am pretty sure that is why I didn't receive the full signal until the day before. By the time I had left work that evening, I was intent that I would be staying up until three in the morning to at least catch a glimpse of the dress.

I made sure to prepare with the necessary rations. I popped over to Cost Plus to pick up my favorite digestives. I did this because I knew that McVitie's would be making Prince William's groom's cake and I was hoping that by eating a couple of cookies with a cup of my Typhoo tea (with milk and sugar, of course), that I would prove my solidarity to the motherland.

As the night progressed I became more and more fevered with the 'Royal Wedding Countdown'. I watched the wedding of Charles and Diana on one station and the story of William and Kate on another. I even watched the William and Kate Lifetime movie On Demand. I watched programs on the wedding preparations and one on weddings of the Royals from the past 100 years. I was no longer only anticipating the dress, I was fully obsessed with the whole shebang!

Most stations were starting their coverage at 1:00AM PST but I found that MSNBC started their coverage at  midnight!

I tuned in and immediately noticed that American commentators sounded a bit...funny. It took me a minute to realize what it was. It seems that when an American commentator crosses the pond, spends a couple of days in London, eats their cereal with yogurt instead of milk, eats mushy peas for dinner and spends a week drinking tea instead of coffee...they want to develop a false British accent. Every statement that came out of their mouths had a little lift at the end of it. As if every statement was a question. 'And here we have a shot of Big Ben?' Do you not know what Big Ben is? Are you thinking that big clock in the middle of the city might be the Eiffel Tower instead? Is there some confusion?

Luckily the TV host I was watching seemed to settle into her normal way of speaking after a while and gave commentary on every person that walked into Westminster Abbey.

The thing I noticed immediately about the guests was that all the women were wearing wonderful, glorious hats and fastinators. It was awesome! I keep hoping that American women will adopt this trend for special occasions but alas, I fear its not meant to be for us. I can still hope though.

The Abbey was gorgeous! It was like a dream! I loved the trees that lined the aisle as if the ceremony was taking place in an English forest. The scene was made even more romantic with the chandeliers that seemed to drip from the ceiling above the trees.

As soon as the procession to the church started I knew I was sucked in for the whole run. I am a sucker for pageantry and I appreciated the down to the minute ritual of getting everyone into the church.

When I saw William and Harry walk into the church, I cried.

The last time I had stayed up late to watch a royal event took place at the same familiar venue. It was the funeral for Princess Diana and I remember the solemn young men keeping pace behind the carriage carrying their mother to the service at the Abbey. My heart broke for them that day. I was watching them again, a dozen years later and now they were grown up and celebrating a happy day at Westminster. My heart was beaming for them.

I lost my breath when I finally saw Kate.

Her dress was stunning and exactly appropriate for a Royal Wedding. As she was chauffeured up to the church, crowds lined the streets. Union Jacks waved above the sea of people and draped from posts between the trees lining the streets. Although I wasn't physically there, I had a huge sense of pride for this country because it was bouncing out of my television from the people of Great Britain that day. The wedding had restored and renewed a sense of love and patriotism for the British monarchy, and excitement for the new generation and generations to come.

Now that is a fairy tale ending!

(Or for the shorter version of this post, C'est Manifique is pretty spot on with THIS)

Picture This: Day 27

Dad and I right before he walked me down the aisle.
(Photo by Noel Hadley)

Day 27:

A picture of you and a family member.
I have mentioned my mother, my brother, the Mr. and my grandmother. The one family member that I haven't said much about is my father. I wouldn't say that I am your typical 'Daddy's Girl' but my dad and I have a definite bond and we have become great friends. Every Sunday my dad (along with his dog and the Pup) walk for a couple of hours in the morning, rain or shine. It is our time to catch up. It is a time that I can get his advice on big life decisions and at the same time try out a joke to see if its funny. I love this time that I get to spend with my dad. I look forward to it every week.

Picture This: Day 19

Day  19:
A picture of a letter.

At first I took this to mean a letter of the alphabet and almost began my search for the perfect 'J' until I remembered I had this gem. I love it. I want to blow it up and hang it in my bedroom. The Mr. isn't as in love with it as I am.

Strawberry Fields

With Valentine's Day coming up, I knew that I wanted the theme of this month's pie to be red. I had considered chocolate but ultimately decided not to because of the S'mores pie I had made just last month. 

Because Puxatony Phil came out to play a couple of weeks ago without seeing his shadow, spring was promised to arrive early. It seems to have reached us here. At springtime in the central valley, especially where I live, you can't throw a stone without hitting a roadside vendor peddling their wares. On Sunday, returning from my walk with my dad and the dogs I noticed that strawberries had made their debut. After a quick shower, I headed out to the corner and bought half a flat for the bargain price of $10. I had something in mind for them when I brought them home. 

This month's pie is Strawberry Raspberry Pie. Oh yeah, did I tell you that I was going to make it extra special by making pie in a jar? Oh? No? Well, here it is. 

The jars I had in my house make this pie extra special because they were large enough to perfectly hold a pie that was just the right size for two. How romantic! 

Gather supplies...mix up some berries, a little sugar, a little flour and a dash of lemon juice...

...fill up the jars and make sure to add a pat of butter to each...

...prep the tops. 

Make sure to cut out holes to vent, I used a little heart for the occasion....

...seal em' up to give as gifts or....

...bake one up for you and your valentine. 

If you want to save them, they freeze well. Keep some in the freezer and take one out when needing that little something sweet. 

Picture This: Day 18

('My Insecurities' by Cheryl McLaughlin)

Day 18:
A picture of your biggest insecurity.
For me it is hard to pinpoint my biggest insecurity. I have moments of it everyday. Sometimes reoccurring thoughts that I have carried with me from adolescence, sometimes over things that I have encountered only since becoming a full fledged adult. I figure, for those at my age, that is probably how it goes for most.
When I was younger I was consumed by my insecurities. I hated my body, my face, my voice. I felt like I was a spazz and as long as I kept my mouth closed nothing stupid sounding could come out of it. I never kept my mouth shut and in turn constantly felt embarrassed of what came out of it.
As an adult, I love myself much more than I did then. I am chunky but don't feel disgusted by seeing my body in the mirror. I can hold a conversation and walk away feeling as if a stream of words flew out that were actually understandable to other people.
Because I couldn't think of an appropriate picture to illustrate 'insecurity', I took to Google to help me out. When I typed in 'insecurity' the above pic was one of the first to show up. It is sad to me (only because I struggled with it for so long myself) that insecurity is most identified with body image. As clichéd as it might sound, I hope one day we can determine how we feel about someone by the ideas that they bring to the table and not by how they look like.

Picture This: Day 16

Day 16:
A picture of a person who inspires you.
Could it really be anyone else besides my mom? She is my biggest inspiration. She has accomplished so much and is a machine that won't stop. Sometimes I get irritated because she is so focused that I feel a little left out. She is always busy. I used to not understand it but as I get older and hear more often 'You are going to turn into your mother' it makes me beam with pride. I can only hope. At the end of the day I respect her because she is living her life exactly how she wants to and makes no excuses for it. She is one ballsy lady in a little body...and I look up to her everyday.

Picture This: Day 14

Day 14:
A picture of a person you couldn't picture your life without.
These two, more specifically the guy on the left. The Mr. doesn't like to have his picture posted and I want to respect his privacy. We both work hard at our marriage and try not to take it for granted. I have never worked so hard, or wanted to work so hard, at something in my life. Sometimes we argue but in the end there is no one in the world he, or I, would rather spend the rest of our life with.

Picture This: Day 12

Day 12:
A picture of something you absolutely love.
This was a tough call. I love too many things. I love spending time with my little family. One of the things I cherish, and this will sound pretty cheesy, is the relaxing time I get to spend with the Mr. During the summer we fish and he lets me read while I wait for something to hit on my pole. Even better is when we take the boat out with the wind whipping through the Pup's ears. I love the moments that allow me the chance to just breathe and take in the little things in life that make the biggest impacts.

Your Morning Cry

Danny & Annie.

Sobbing...thanks Cup of Jo

Second Anniversary

In May the Mr. and I celebrated our second wedding anniversary. We were (and still are) a little strapped for cash but I was desperate to get out of town. After much research, I found some great deals for Santa Cruz, California. Santa Cruz is about two and a half hours from where we live and makes a perfect place for a weekend getaway. We loaded the car, dropped the dog of at the sitters (my dad and stepmom) and headed out. One of my favorite things early in this trip was that my favorite traveling radio station came in clear for a very long time. The Greatest Hits of All Time (formally 'Oldies') 97.5 KABX out of Merced California. I remember listening to this station as a little kid and memorizing all the hits from Buddy Holly, The Monkeys, Elvis, and the Beetles to name a handful. Things have changed in the past few years. The other morning I turned to the station only to find myself listening to Hall and Oates ('Maneater'??? Really??? C'mon!). At least they still have some redeeming qualities like Breakfast with the Beetles on Sundays, recordings of The Wolfman Jack Show and repeats of Casey Casem's American Top 40.

Halfway to our destination, in Hollister, is Casa de Fruta. I have passed this fruit stand many times on my way to Santa Cruz and have never stopped before. We were in no hurry so we pulled off the freeway and took a walk around.

This is the outside...(click pic to enlarge) 

...and this is the inside. 

What really sold us was the free wine tasting. We were allowed to sample two different varietals. I think I chose a sparkling white and a Pinot Noir. I remember thinking that both were ok but nothing really to write home about. I can't remember what the Mr. chose but I know that one of them was their Pomegranate Wine. That one was really good, so good that we bought a bottle to toast with that evening. 

We arrived at the Best Western Capitola-by-the-Sea Inn and Suites. I chose this hotel because of the discounts and freebies it had to offer. By choosing this hotel we were both able to go to Roaring Camp Railroads for free. The staff was very friendly and helpful over the phone and at check in. There were even fresh baked cookies waiting for us in the lobby. During our one night stay, we took advantage of the outdoor hot tub, pool and the continental breakfast in the morning. The breakfast included fresh fruit, very good coffee, an assortment of pastries, bagels, and toast; juice (I went back several times for the guava juice...it was sooo good), milk, tea, cereals, and my husband's favorite part, there was a 'make your own' waffle station.

After dropping off our things at the hotel we drove to the Santa Cruz Pier. It wasn't quite tourist season yet so there was plenty of parking on the actual pier. We walked around and watched the fisherman. We listened to the sea lions below the pier bellow at us and flap their fins. From a second floor wine cafe we were able to people watch while we took advantage of a half price happy hour. The weather was perfect and the views were priceless. After finishing our wine we walked the pier as the sun was setting. Very romantic!

For dinner we headed back to Capitola. I won't go into how disappointed we were in the restaurant (Sorry Stockton Bridge Grill) but the view was great, the service was ok, it was getting late and we were starving. Walking along the Esplanade we spotted a dog tie up that made us miss our own Sadie very much. After dinner we went back to the hotel, called the desk to see if they had a wine opener (the did!!) and headed to the hot tub with our Pomegranate Wine poured into plastic cups. 

The next morning we got up early, took advantage of the easy checkout over the phone in our room and headed to Roaring Camp Railroads. I am glad that we took advantage of the free tickets because I don't think that the Mr. and I would have ever considered this. This stop ended up being one of my favorite things that we did that weekend. On our train was a dog named Sugar and she was very well behaved so we didn't mind. This made us miss our own pup again. The tour was guided by Conductor Kent who was very friendly and knowledgeable. It started to warm up but not for us because along the way we were protected by huge and ancient redwoods.

Next on our list was the famous Santa Cruz Mystery Spot. This is a place that I had always intended on going to but never made it a priority. The cost was very reasonable and because we went before the tourist season started, we were able to tour it in a very small group. It was just the right amount of strange for the price that we paid.

After a quick stop at the local Costco (to get discounted all day passes) we finally made it to the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. I remember spending lots of time here when I was a kid. Because the season hadn't properly started and it was a Tuesday (I think), hardly any of the rides were open. The Giant Dipper was and I kept my eyes closed the entire time I was on it. For some reason, roller coasters aren't as fun as they used to be. After riding the rides and lunching on garlic fries, the Mr. and I played a round of miniature golf in Neptune's Kingdom where I let him win, but only by one stroke. We had free passes for the bowling alley across the street but had no luck using them because there was a tournament and they weren't letting anyone else play. After exhausting all of our free fun, we headed home happy, tired and in love. 

Leave Me

I have been thinking lately...I don't remember the last time I cried. This little film took care of that in four minutes. (from Le Love)

Love Today

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect - you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there." -Bob Marley

--from Le Love

Signs

If you are NOT the romantic type, this might be a waste of your time because it is twelve minutes long...
If you ARE the romantic type, this has to be the sweetest thing ever. It melted my heart