This week I look at things with a different set of eyes.
When I was a little girl my cousin had a friend that was our age. My aunt stayed home and would often watch my brother and I while my mom worked. She would sometimes watch my cousin's friend as well. As little girls we would color in coloring books with chipped crayons. The three of us coveted the Barbie coloring book. My cousin and I each had one. When one favorite page was colored, there was always the duplicate in the other book. Of course we played dolls, make-believe, on the swing set and dress up but it is that coloring book that I remember most.
One day at my cousin's, I remember a hushed conversation between the adults.
"I can't believe she's gone, and the kids too..."
I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't understand what death was. I didn't understand how a child could die.
A car accident.
My cousin and I were told that our playmate was gone, and she wasn't coming back. I couldn't understand because she was in my coloring book. The pinks, the greens. the lavender scribbles...all above where she scratched out her name with the apprehensive staccato of a schoolgirl.
Her name was still in my coloring book. I couldn't understand that she wasn't coming back. I kept that coloring book for years and would find it every once in a while as I was growing up. Sometimes I would forget why I still had it but after thumbing through it I would remember. I would feel the same confusion I had as a little girl. No matter how much I had aged, I still couldn't understand. Her name was still in my coloring book.
I feel that way again this week. This week a young mother, who I only casually know but is very close to a good friend of mine, was in a horrible car accident. She had her two year old and her four year old in the car with her. Her two year old, although badly hurt, will grow up in her mother's arms. Her four year now rests in the arms of God. She is in the hospital suffering from major physical injuries. Over time she will heal from these injuries but will be emotionally wrecked for life.
I don't understand it. I have seen people that I love leave this world too early and suddenly without warning. Although painful, over time I could at least try to rationalize it. I could try to understand. A child, I cannot. I can't even let myself try.
One thing I have learned this week, is that I am not a one man show. No one is. I cannot only rely on myself because the way I live my life affects others. There are people that care for me and love me. I care for an love others. Sometimes I take that for granted. It is easy to let 'I love you' wander from the lips. Don't let it wander without direction. Don't say it without thought. Show it to those you love, show it every day. Accept it as well. One never knows what length of the thread of life has been spun for any soul. A person, no matter how much love is given or received, may be gone without warning. Everyday must be treated as a gift, lived to its fullest potential.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
I love this County Fair themed party
Because I make cakes, I find myself growing obsessive about party planning. I get these wild ideas but have no children yet and no real reason to execute them. Instead they linger and stew around in my head. This little problem becomes worse when I end up blog stalking. I came across the following blogs and am inspired.
My first favorite, Party Perfect.
...and Hostess with the Mostess
My little weekend project....
Hearing: 'Feels Like Home'-Chantal Kreviazuk
Seeing: 'Marley and Me' on the television behind me. I read the book on our honeymoon cruise and made the mistake of reading the last few chapters while lounging on a deck chair in the middle of hundreds of strangers. I ended up trying to hide the sobbing behind a pair of over-sized sunglasses. At least I was among strangers and never had to face those confused people again.
Smelling: The collection of candles I have lit on the mantle.
Tasting: Ice cold water. I feel completely dehydrated this weekend and this water is really the only cure.
Feeling: Kinda sluggish. After the marathon baking session on Friday night/ Saturday morning; weekend yard selling; Saturday afternoon cocktails poolside (that went into the wee hours of Sunday morning), and walking the dogs with dad a handful of hours later, I laid down for what turned into a six hour nap. Now I am awake when I should be winding down for bed. Instead I am up trying not to think of the insane work week in front of me.
Hope everyone had a very happy weekend!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Here's the recap....
From A Cup of Joe
From Our Best Bites:
...and from Martha Stewart